Time

Tomorrow I will take three four year olds to Church for the last time.

Next week I will take three five year olds to Church for the first time.

How is that even possible???

My chest is tight and it's hard to breathe. How can my 3 pound babies already be 41 pound little boys??? All of my childhood I spent wishing time would speed up, I couldn't wait to be grown up. Now that I am, I find myself wishing it would slow down. I don't want my babies to grow up. I want them to hug me and kiss me and think I am the most wonderful person in the world forever. I want to be the only one who makes them feel better and who holds their hand to cross the street. I want to act silly and hear them laugh hysterically. I want to check on them in the middle of the night every night and give them one more kiss on the top of their heads while they sleep and whisper I love you my sweet boy to each of them. I want to look in my Husband's eyes as they giggle and play and know how much we both love them and how they are the biggest gift we could ever have been given.

I just want my babies to stay my babies.

But they won't.

They will keep growing and will one day leave. As much as my heart will break that day, it will somehow also be full of pride and joy. I want to cook them a dozen eggs each every morning in their teenage years. I want to rush like a madwoman from game to practice to who knows what, supporting them. I want to see the men they will someday be. They will each be a great man, like their great father.

But not yet.

Tonight they will still be my little boys and I will still tuck them in again when they kick the covers off and give them each an extra kiss and tell them that I love them again.

Tomorrow I will take my four year olds to church and I will hug them extra tight.

Time goes by too fast to not appreciate every second.

Nighty-night.